Let’s just pretend I haven’t been gone for the last couple of years, even though I updated my blog only a year ago. Right now, I just want to create a space for conversation. I want to use this tiny space, with my short outreach, to start a conversation. Topic?
Anything.
I want to hear about your life. I want you to tell me a story. I want you to say anything you want to say. I have some questions I will post on here and just hit me back with a reply if you feel like that’s something you want to do. Share with me what you will.
- If you could live in any time period, which one would you pick?
- What animal would be cutest if it was scaled down to the size of a cat?
- Who is your best friend? Why?
- What is a trait you do not like about yourself?
- What do you daydream about?
These are things that I think about a lot. I know who my best friend is, but I often think about why they are my best friend. I will now contribute my answers to those who wish to read them.
- I would live in the future. I thought about it a lot and the 1930’s or maybe the 1700’s would be interesting to be a part of, but I feel like my personality would not fit these time periods and I wouldn’t enjoy living in them as a result. The future is open to limitless possibilities. I would choose the future after the sun has expanded in hopes that humans have learned to get along with each other in a way we could spread across the universe and explore it without triggering intergalactic war.
- I think a bear would be the cutest because they’re already so fuzzy and cute! This way they could stay babies forever!
- I have two best friends. Kathryn and Amber. Kathryn has been my best friend pretty much since I moved to Borger, TX. She’s my best friend because, despite my shortcomings, she loves me anyways. She doesn’t just do things out of loyalty to me. She is her own person and has her own goals in life. She is always there when I need her, but she also loves me enough to call me out on my shit. She’s the closest thing I’ll ever have to a sister, so I pretty much made her a part of my family. Amber, I met in college. I kind of just walked up to her on our first day of class and we’ve been friends ever since. It took me longer to think of a goodreason why she’s my best friend and then I realized, I don’t need ANY reason that satisfies anyone but me. She’s my best friend because I like her personality and who she is and how she lives her life. She’s my best friend because I can go to her for advice or tell her anything. I love both of them endlessly and I would hate to think of what life would be like if I didn’t have either one in my life.
- A trait I don’t like about myself…hmm, let’s explore this. I don’t like how indecisive I am. It actually causes a lot of frustrations for me. From picking a place to eat to deciding where to go and what to do, it’s like an endless nightmare sometimes. Not only does it infuriate others, it causes me immense discomfort. I am a walking contradiction. I don’t want other people to pick for me because I want to have things the way I want them, but then I am incapable of making a decision sometimes. Something that has helped me is Justin will flip a coin. He tells me it’s not about which side it lands on because when it’s in the air it really makes me think about what side I want it to land on. Works almost every time now.
- I daydream about so much. What I want to be in life, what I could have done with my life, how did I end up here, what my life would be like if my mom hadn’t died, what it would be like to be famous or a billionaire, etc. I think of all of these things and realise that they aren’t things I truly want (unless becoming famous or a billionaire happened after I met Jay). Whenever I am unhappy with life or wondering if life really is greener on the other side, I remember that there are specific events that happened in my life that lead to me meeting my husband. He is the single most important thing that has ever happened to me. I firmly believe I wouldn’t even trade having my mom here because I never would have met Justin if she was here. That is an event, as horrible as it was, that helped trigger our permanent move to Borger, TX. That led me to my ex-husband. He led me to Weatherford, TX. That’s where I met Justin.
I sort of went off on a tangent on that last one. I have so many thoughts and I always felt like I needed a structure to bring them to you. I wanted to be funny or interesting. Maybe I just need to be me. Maybe I just need to write my story and the fact that it exists in the world will be enough.
-The Bean
The Maxwell House Diaries 